Freedom and Citizenship

Something I've been thinking about lately is the different kinds of freedom, freedom in the most abstract sense: freedom "to" and freedom "from." By freedom "to," I mean those freedoms we as Americans cherish the most, which are children freedoms from the ancestor freedom, the freedom "to [do what we want]." This is an extremely valuable freedom to have, for it makes many more necessary freedoms possible in society: those freedoms pertaining to the individual's rights as an individual and the individual's rights as a citizen. However, this freedom has eclipsed the other freedom, the freedom "from," and the subsequent effects on Western civilization have been extremely destructive.

Freedom "from" is the kind of freedom we experience when things have been denied to us, namely, options pertaining to life decisions. Now any obstruction of our freedom "to [do what we want]" immediately engenders immense opposition from both sides of the political spectrum. The idea that we can do what we want when we want has been so thoroughly engrained in Western society that we, from time to time, witness random and explosive violence on a grand scale, the primary means of malcontents expressing themselves. From what I have read, it appears the recent situation in England is such an example of this.

Tell an American that freedom "from [unwise options], [a destructive outcome], [generally immoral and unacceptable behavior]" is both valuable and possible in society, you might experience such a manifestation of random and explosive violence I have mentioned, though only on a small scale (if you are lucky). The whole concept of someone else knowing what may be best in your life is unacceptable to a vast portion of Americans. What is the root of this? Have we always been like this? Indeed, the root comes from our early history as Americans: through the American Independence, witnessed in the work of Crevecoeur, and increasing in scope and power up to our time. The root of this springs from American Individualism, and enough work has been done on the topic that I find it expedient not to rehash what has already been stated by more enlightened and educated minds.

However, I will say that this Individualism, through our few centuries as a people, has grown up in the hearts and minds of many of us to deny the power of authority. Now, the ways this hate of authority has manifested itself comes from our essential obsession with the keeping out of tyrants, or those who would force their will on the people. Early on, this was a good and proper obsession. The principles outlined in our founding documents call for a system of governance that does not push the citizen down, but lifts him up. Yes, he has been lifted up. He has been lifted up past that which was good, quite some time ago.  He has been lifted up past the respect for freedom "from," because his entire worldview is centered on freedom "to." He has become so Individualistic that he no longer accepts even the highest authority, the authority of God.

This, however, is not without precedent. No matter whether you believe in Creationism/Intelligent Design, Evolution, or Progressive Evolution, and still call yourself a Christian, you probably believe in the Fall of mankind, when humanity denied the authority of their Creator, and instead accepted their own authority as solely legitimate. Whether it was Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden or early humans in the horn of Africa, the outcome is the same. Freedom "to" eclipsed freedom "from." I am not saying that the latter must have control over the former; rather, I think emphasis must be put on the latter, while the former is kept in a cherished place. It is only when the Self thinks it has power over its God and over its people's laws that freedom "to" gets out of hand.

However, since the founding of our nation, our nation's laws have been formed around the freedom "to [do whatever we want]," and this has had disastrous consequences. What once was the murmur of mob rule has certainly become mob rule. Somehow, my compatriots have it in their minds that "when two or more of them are gathered together," the spirit of Democracy descends upon them and blesses their actions and decisions. I do not think this is so. Just because they have strength in numbers, veering from moral bounds, does not mean they have legitimate authority. A restriction of action in freedom "from [from the ill consequences of immoral decisions]" only appears as an encroachment upon their freedom "to [do whatever they see fit for themselves, because its their life, their decision, and their prerogative]."

When our Constitution does not leave any room for the protection of freedom "to," and only seeks to spread the superiority of freedom "to [do what we want, because this is a free country, dammit]," we who believe there is a Natural Law in the world that restricts our behavior for our own good, and out of reverence for our Creator who gave us this Law, must make a decision: do we simply watch as our country slides deeper and deeper into acceptance of murder and a host of immoral behaviors, or do we seek to change things for the good of the citizens of this great country? Certainly we must pray. We must pray for the welfare of our people and for their salvation.

Either we change our Constitution or we refuse it. If things get worse, we have no option but to. The Church will have its own say when things get worse. I'm not sure what that will look like, but I'm sure things cannot continue this way without the itch getting too itchy to not scratch. My preference would be that the Constitution be changed. Of course, that would not be possible at the time being.
I'm sure the only two ways the Constitution could be changed would be firstly via a radical cultural change (which could happen, though it seems unlikely), and secondly via the installation of a great authority to lead our people. Authority is the backbone of freedom "from," and only authority will bring us back to sanity. I don't know how this authority could manifest itself. Seeing how little we knew about our current president before he was elected, who knows what kind of person could be elected president in the future? 

Newness

     The last six months have been all of newness. Firstly, I need to rescind things I have written in past posts that contradict my current beliefs. I won't point them out individually, but they must be viewed with a grain of salt. When I wrote every post on this blog antecedent to this one, I was in a place of oscillating confusion, doubt, anger, and fear. I didn't have a solid belief structure to hold my mind together. Because of this, my mind was free to wander to all sorts of ridiculous conclusions. I will not erase my past posts, and the various elements of my thoughts that I now find to be to a degree unwise and also to a degree heretical.
     Following my return home from Cheltenham, England, I knew I wanted to be a Christian. I had doubted it before, even encapsulating much of 2010, but following a full day spent in prayer and study the Sunday before my Wednesday flight home, I was decided. I entered into my last semester at Malone this past January still seeking which church would be most profitable to my significantly-less-visible-than-a-mustard-seed-faith. I nearly lost hope by March. But by late February/early March I felt inside me the desire to give something a second chance- the Orthodox Church. I had gone in February 2010 to a Divine Liturgy (Sunday morning service) but didn't like it. In fact, my going then may have contributed to the general "beef" I had against Christianity altogether and harbored for another nine months. The point is that I felt I needed to go again. To make a short story long, I went with some friends who hadn't given up on me the whole time, and at this point I am about to become a Catechumen, essentially I'm in about a week going to be formally entering the Church, as the process usually takes some time.
     What I was initially drawn to was the spirit of worship at the church I have been attending- Holy Assumption Orthodox Church. The reverence is astounding- I can, as I have never been able to do, regularly feel the presence of God in the chanting and litany. I would have scoffed at such a statement only half a year ago. Becoming Orthodox from a Protestant upbringing isn't as much denying what you used to believe as it is supplementing it. "Adding" of course bears the completely wrong connotations: the reason I avoided the word. My past understanding of God and of my responsibility as a Christian has been "fattened up," as it were; I have been delighted to discover the wealth of wisdom found in writers from the earliest days of the Church. In my period of doubt, I would have scoffed at those same writers, and I'm sure in a journal entry at some point I wrote that now that we have such a better understanding of the universe and the anthropological and psychological and sociological (at this point you can add any number of adjectives that fit) inter-workings of the human race that those past writers' work has become null and void. Essentially, I thought that in the face of Post-Modernism, nothing of worth could be grasped from the Pre-Moderns. Now, however, my perspective is leaning the other way. More of that to come.

Home, Christmas, Headaches

I've been waking up with headaches fairly often this past week. I've been attacked with continual waves of zits. Must be stress. I still have 5 papers waiting to get done for my classes in England, though I've been home for a week and a half. I'm going to go to Camp Gideon today for a day or two to write my next short story, though I have a feeling this one will be longer. It will encompass everything.
I've been building its structure in my mind for about four months, though I've only been really focusing on it for about three weeks. I think it will be my best work yet. No, I know so. I just need to get away from society to write it. I was so isolated in England for so long that being thrust back into American culture and everything that used to be familiar has changed my perspective on those very things.
This story will be a testament to change, change forced upon us.

Last few hours in England

Well its midnight, and our taxi will hopefully pick us up at around 1:45am to take us to the coach station. Then to Heathrow and then home.
Its really odd having only a little time left before I leave. At one point, going home felt like it was years away. Now its only a few hours away.
Coming home will be accompanied by changes. Lots and lots of them, and I've never really been big on change. So it should be interesting, to say the least.
Anyways, I'll gladly take all the change that's coming just so I can have home-cooked meals. Beats cereal, apples, and hummus every day.

E+87

If you haven't caught the number thing, this is my 87th day in England. A week from now, I'll be on a plane across the Atlantic, if everything works out. I did a lot of packing yesterday, about an hour and a half's worth. I figure the more packing I get done this weekend, the more I can concentrate on finishing up papers this coming week, so I don't have to do them in Ohio, as they aren't due until January.
Its very strange to be packing. But as I remember, it took me well over a week to pack for the way over, so I may as well take my time for packing for coming home.
So I haven't done much else, other than write papers and read. Read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse last week, and I'm about halfway through A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I'm really interested to see where Lewis takes his argument, because in this book there is not the structures rationalist thought, but a broken man yelling at God, entertaining views of God as the Comic Sadist, questioning not his belief in God, but his view of God as a loving and essential good being. In both of these fantastic works, or at least in the former and what I've read in the latter, they struggle with the nature of the divine being, but are forced to recognize that there is no way to know. However, just because there is no way to know why God lets certain terrible things happen to humanity, and because God can never be understood, that does not mean that (or from what I personally believe and am drawing from the mentioned books) the only way to God is a leap of faith: I think too many Christians are too emphatic on faith, faith, faith- I know faith is important, but I don't think God would have given us these brains if we couldn't use them and explore the nature of being and of God. I think a leap of faith is part of it, but try to imagine this image: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when he has to take his leap of faith to find the Holy Grail, over a bottomless chasm. Then, when he does, a bridge appears. Now imagine that instead of taking that step, Dr. Jones had put a little more thought and effort into his decision- he had read through the Bible, talked with people much more wise than he, read the works of holy people- he would have been able to build stones across to form part of his bridge. Keep the physics out of it. He builds a bridge across. Each stone is a different thing he has learned about God, such as trusting God, believing in God, the nature of prayer, faith, salvation, unchanging divine beneficence, until he gets to the keystone, the one that holds it all together. That could be his leap of faith.
Anyways, I'm excited to go home. I miss it. Readjusting should be interesting. But at least I won't have jokers pounding their rap music at 2am like last night. I hope.

E+82

Finished my two large papers of the end of the semester last night. Only have a handful of really small papers left. Doing some reading. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. Planning some Henry James after that. Short works. Haven't done much creative writing of my own for the past week or two, other than a really dumb story wrote last monday. I feel like I've exhausted all my ideas, but I know that's never possible.
Anyways, less than two weeks left in England. Coming home the 18th. Wow, that's only 12 days. At one point it felt like home was a year away. I am ready to come home. I think when I get home I'll stay in my room for a week and sleep all day in my bed that doesn't have awful springs poking into my back like the one here. I've gotten used to the springs. Listening to Bon Iver.
It's an exceptionally foggy day in Cheltenham. Maybe I'll just sleep all day.

E+74

Only 20 days until I come home to Canton Ohio. Now that my England trip is finishing up, I'm motivated to look back over the past ten weeks. The past few days I've been doing lots of that, actually. Haven't been getting too much school work done, and goodness knows I have enough to do.
Although this semester has been somewhat lonely in my little room, if I could do it over again I would definitely come to England again. The curiosity of what I would have encountered and learned would have been too great to stay home. Now I know. I know what it is to be in a new situation with new people and a new milieu. I know what it's like to be disconnected from my life in Canton. I've had so much time to delve into my own mind and my own thoughts, and transform those discoveries into creative ore.
I've encountered so many new things in the worlds of art, philosophy, theology, literature, music, and history, to name a few. I've been getting into Russian classical composers more this semester than ever before. I've also learned how important peace and quiet can be for relaxed study and contemplation. In that respect, I dearly miss the quiet of my own space at home.

68th day in England

This weekend was wonderful. Went to Bath on Saturday with the BCA group, all the other Americans studying and living in England with me. We saw the Roman Baths and the famous Pump Room from Austen's Northanger Abbey. So cool to see all the Roman structures and artifacts from the area. Although most of the structure of the Roman Baths there was built within the last several hundred years, over a millennia after the Romans packed up and left, much of the original ruins remain, including tombs, skeletons, jewelry, etc. Saw the Bath Abbey, which was pretty incredible. There was also a fantastic band called "The Zen Hussies"playing in the street. Check them out.
Yesterday went to London with my friend Alex. Although most of the most important lines on the London Underground were shut down, we made our way from Victoria to Paddington to retrieve his lost iPod, which failed, so we went over to the East side, up by Old Street, and checked out some pretty awesome art studios in the bohemian-kind-of-colony in that area. We spent a little time in the British Museum, but I'm sure I could spend a week there and not see all there is to see. Saw the Rosetta Stone- I think that was the most notable thing I saw there, other than the Assyrian reliefs of the siege of Lachish in Israel. It was really cool to see those, because I was at Lachish this summer, and I saw the earthen siege ramp the Assyrians built to capture the city, which was one of Israel's strongest fortresses at the time. The relief showed the Assyrians marching up the siege ramp and defeating the Israelites, then enslaving them. Afterwards, we stopped at Trafalgar Square just to check it out. While there, I realized that London really does seem like the capital of the world; don't get me wrong, Washington D.C. is gorgeous, its just not the magnificent city London is. I suppose several thousand more years of development in London accounts for that.
We went to a Shisha place later on called Sara Cafe by Baker Street. Unfortunately we didn't go to the Sherlock Holmes museum. Next time. Sara's was great. Had a mint tea and it reminded me of Israel- only half a year ago I was just getting used to being abroad. That was only a six-week trip, and I've already been in England nearly ten weeks.
Today I went with some friends to Tintern Abbey and Chepstow Castle. Tintern Abbey was obviously wonderful, in its inspiration to Wordsworth to write a poem comparing his current situation in life to five years before he first saw it. The title of the poem suggests he was at a good vantage point to see the River Wye wind through Tintern and past the Abbey, so he was either on the other end of the vale, but more likely, I think, he was at the site of St. Mary's on the hill behind the Abbey. We walked up there, and saw that wonderful view which is described in the title to Wordsworth's poem. The church was built in the 1860's, though a St. Mary's has been there for hundreds of years. This one burnt in the 1970s, so now, like Tintern Abbey, all that remains are the walls, and its really quite Romantic- all overgrown and forgotten, next to a wonderfully creepy graveyard.
Chepstow Castle wasn't very far away- it was one of the first stone fortifications built in Britain and one of the few stone fortifications William the Conqueror commissioned upon his claim to the English throne in 1066- the main section of this castle is still visible, which was built then. However, there have been many additions through the hundreds of years since, mainly in the 13th-15th centuries. During the English Civil War in the mid 17th century, Crowmwell's forces battered the heck out of it with cannons, so it's pretty beat up, but nonetheless fascinating.
Got home tonight to add a few things up- found out that I have two papers due in two weeks, and then I have five papers due in late January-early February. Pretty bummed about that, as I will be in my next classes by then. I'll see what I can get done during Christmas break, though I'll probably be applying to grad schools then, if I don't give up first.
So this week will be researching for my papers. Probably won't get much creative writing or editing done any time soon.

E+54

Well, it seems as if the party is officially over. I haven't had to do one assignment this semester, apart from copious amounts of reading. I have a small paper due thursday, about which I really don't know what I'm writing, so I guess I'll just have to see how it goes.
I went to London on Friday with a few friends, and we had a great time. We saw all the tourist attractions we wanted to see (the Tower of London, Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, the British Library, Buckingham Palace) besides a few that we didn't have time or energy for (St. Paul's Cathedral and the British Museum). I suppose we can always go back, while we're in the country. It was just a little sad how fleeting our moment in London was- we spent the better part of 12 hours doing our thing, but it wasn't nearly enough time to get a real feel for the city. I think I could spend weeks there and not see everything.
So, since I have been home, I've been researching this paper on the 'Captain Swing' riots in Southern England from late 1830 to earlyish 1831. Unfortunately, I am still confused about the referencing system, the paper format itself, the online journal finding system, and the turning-in-your-paper system. Literally, nothing is the same as researching is at Malone. So that's frustrating. Fortunately, by the time it's due Thursday morning, two BCA girls and I will go to a conference in Northern Ireland, in Derry. We won't be back till Sunday, so that should be a lovely little holiday, though we will be in seminars and discussions the whole weekend.
I'm still frustrated with my savage building-mates, who like to raise a hellish cacophony most nights in the courtyard outside my window, and blast their crap-pop music at all times of the day or night. Fortunately, the rules that they are supposed to follow concerning the respect of other people in this building are more like guidelines, as no one feels like enforcing them. Another example: people weren't supposed to park outside out building on the small drive that leads to our building's entrance. It took one fire drill and at least another two real fire alarms to make someone post a sign telling the idiots not to park there. And the fire brigade had to tell them that how many times before anything was done?
So, life in Cheltenham has it's ups and downs. Starbucks being closed at 6:30pm everynight certainly constitutes another 'down', for the record.
I need to eat and study. Bye.

P.S. I remember when I was in elementary school, I got in an argument with the pre-teen workaholic in my class that the spelling of the word you say to someone when ending communication with them was "b-y" instead of her goofy "b-y-e". In due time I figured out she had been right. I don't think I've talked to her since.

E+43

Today is the six-week mark in England, six weeks from the day we arrived. As my trip this summer was six weeks and two days, I've almost been in England as long as I was abroad this summer. This feels very different, though. The whole time I was abroad this summer all I wanted was a place to store my socks and underwear in a place that wasn't my suitcase. I naturally have had the pleasure of storing all my clothes away since the first day, so I guess thats one of the most obvious differences.
Also, I somewhat expected England to be some grand adventure; lots of traveling and epic events, things of that nature. What I have mostly done is stay in my room and read and write. I suppose I haven't made quite the solid friendships so far as I had hoped for, but things are looking up.
The good thing is that I have made a lot of progress on my writing. Last week I wrote a short story, 'Swirling Leaves in Autumn,' and I'm hoping it isn't terrible. I guess we'll see where that goes. Started brainstorming on another one, but I'm having a rough time piecing the plot together. Nothing really happens.
Among that jazz, I have doing most of my homework reading. I haven't had to submit any assignments or take any tests or quizzes, which in some ways rocks. I'm just having a hard time keeping myself accountable with reading for school and not what I want to read.
It's been getting colder. We're supposed to have decent weather this weekend: upper 60s with moderate precipitation. Not unusual for here, but we have had several really beautiful days. On most of those days I walk down to Pittville Park a few blocks away and read and think and hang out with my duck friends.
So, as I am just a few days short of being halfway through this trip, I suppose this is a good time to sum up my sentiments concerning the first half of this trip. I do miss home, especially all the fun fall things I am missing out on. I am somewhat bummed that by the time I get home there will be 2-3 months of solid winter ahead. Being here has really increased my appreciation for home; not only Canton itself, but what makes Canton home to me: the ability to go to Starbucks past 6pm (that's right, they close right after dinner- what a rip-off), my room, where I can run away from stupid people and their obnoxious gangster rap thumping through the walls, my wonderful family, good friends, all good things and people of that sort.
I don't mean to demean the quality of my stay here. It's just been very different. It has been a great learning experience, and it's great to reflect on my time here to better understand myself.
It also, obviously, has been the ideal setting for me to learn about everything British. I've learned so much already, and I know I will take my experience and knowledge gained in Cheltenham with me wherever I go in my life.
On the traveling subject, I did go to Stratford-Upon-Avon last weekend with three other BCA (American) students and a host of other international students. We saw Shakespeare's birthplace/adult home and his church where he was baptized, married, and buried, which contains his and his immediate family's graves. We had lunch twice (my favorite) in Stratford and saw lots of other nifty little things, including an original First Folio printing.
Two other Americans and I just planned a trip to London, so I'm glad I'll finally be able to go check out all the good tourist sites.
That's about all I have this morning. I have to read about the decline of the Liberal Party in 1900-1939 for class. Fun.

Welcome, October. E+16

 Well, just woke up to find that it is raining outside, and is really quite windy. Shortly after, I had a brilliant thought: as I don't have class today, or really anything better to do, I think I'll stay home today! I think it sounds brilliant anyways...
So I may as well try to relate the events of the past week as best I can. It's my fault for not writing for so long, I know. This past weekend the entire BCA group (all of the Americans that came here together, about 30, including myself) went on a trip to Cornwall, which was organized by Denise and Sandy, our wonderful program director and assistant program director, respectively.
We left last Friday morning, and rode on a bus first to Lanhydrock Hotel, which was rather pish-posh, was the site of our exquisite lunch, and was where we saw a man with purple golfing pants. Then we rode to Lanhydrock, a late Victorian Country House, which included some fantastic gardens as well.  

Also, there was a plaque to the right of the flagpole above that explained how the lost fabled land of Lyonesse existed (in legend) between Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly, barely visible from Land's End. It was supposedly swalled in the sea around six hundred years ago, and fishermen still say they can see the houses' rooftops under the waves on calm days, and that they get doors and windows in their nets every so often. So I am trying to figure out what interesting way I can incorporate that legend in my book.

Then went to St. Ives, a picturesque tourist town which was on the way back to our hostel. There I ate a famous Cornish pasty, and at a different shop the famous Cornish tea and clotted cream. Needless to say, I have excellent taste in taste, built up from years of experience in the field, and I have no qualms with praising both delicious treats for their tastiness, originality, and tastiness.

Then we went to our hostel at Newquay for the night. Max, Alex and I then proceeded to climb the cliffs by the sea. I got yelled at by a security guard so I stopped climbing one large, slippery cliff. The three of us then decided to hop in; its possible that I have never been as cold as I was then, swimming in the sea there. Its like I always say: If you're going to do something really stupid and somewhat dangerous, you may as well do it with your friends.

The next morning, Sunday, we visited the Eden Project, which was a china-clay mine for the majority of the past century. Some people bought it and transformed it from a hideous pit to an amazing display of ecological conservation and progress.

Then we went home. I had my first classes this week. All of my "tutors" seem pretty good, and the classmates I have met seem pretty cool as well.
Alright, I've just spent over an hour on this post, and I am absolutely starving. I'm realllllly hoping this post will format right, because I am not doing this all over.

E+8

If I've ever made a mistake over and over again in this life, it has been allowing my preconceived notions of the world to shape my thoughts and behavior. I came to England expecting some highly Romanticized world to unfold before me, and now that I have been here a full week I have found that such a world does not, in fact, exist, and though I thought I had destroyed that Romanticized imaginary Cheltenham when I initially decided to stay home several weeks ago, the world lives on, and continues to take precedent over my reality.

So, as my reality has been increasingly poignant in the past several days, I feel myself jolted out of that preconceived notion of my future, and rather in a very foreign milieu, one that could take weeks getting used to. The secularism of this country is partially to credit for a sense of apprehension I have been feeling lately, and not on a small scale, but something I think can be attributed to the collective conscience of the masses. I don't feel at home, yet. I hope that soon, probably coinciding with the beginning of my classes on Tuesday, that I can get in the groove and become more comfortable in my time and place.

Wondering what would happen in the United States abandons religion like Europe did. I'll think about that more and probably write about it later.

E+5

Fifth day in England. Already past the shock and awe of being in England. Everyone is getting settled in quite nicely. Freshers (Freshmen) moved in to our building yesterday, so that certainly adds much more to the cultural landscape of Regency Hall. There are 30 of us Americans in Regency and 69 British students all told, and we are really only getting started to know them. However, we've met lots more of the locals throughout town in our various escapades the past five days. Everything is seeming more realistic now; the Romantic notion of this semester seems to be slowly filtering out of my brain at least, and as I can see, most other American brains in the BCA program anyways.
The culture I am experiencing is truly amazing. Not that I agree with everything (like I ever would anywhere, even in the States) in English culture, but it is just so great to be able to experience everything here. Also, within our BCA group and on my flat there are people from elsewhere in Europe and Africa, and that is creating a stimulating many-sided cultural shape in my daily thoughts and conversations. At any time, I can talk to someone from any range of heritages. It's wonderful.

First day in England

Traveling was long and tiring. By the time we got to our rooms, and I was able to sufficiently smell myself before showering, I was certain that my deodorant had stopped working some time in the past 15 hours. What a wonderful shower. All 28 people in the BCA Cheltenham program assembled for some introductory information and pizza, and I was afterwards able to get everything out of my bags and set up my room. It is wonderful having this room. All to myself, and my own bathroom, to boot. All through my last trip this summer I wanted to simply put my underwear and socks into a dresser or drawers. Now that I have completed said action, I feel complete.
So about nine of us just went to a Mexican restaurant a few blocks away: Chiquito. Mexican food on our first night in England- I know, I thought it was terribly ironic as well. Other than slight confusion as to how we pay, where to put the tip, how much to tip if at all, and how to avoid looking like stupid American tourists, dinner went off without a hitch.
Then we realized that we were in England, because it had started pouring outside halfway during our meal. Unbeknownst to us, a rain storm had swooped down on Cheltenham.
Next time, I'm bringing a dagum umbrella.

E-1

     Leaving for England tomorrow. Ready to go. Still have some minute last minute things to do, like pack two suitcases.
     Two weeks ago when I had decided to stay home but still wanted to go to England, I wondered if I would ever feel at peace about my final decision. I was miserable that week, because I though that staying home would be best for me, though it burned my insides with disappointment. I looked forward to that point in time when I could just laugh about it, after the right path had become painfully clear.
     I do feel the path is painfully clear. I'm sure when I visit all of the wonderful places abroad, I will thank myself for not being an ignoramus and staying home.

Across the Pond

     This has been a wonderful summer. After getting home from my six-week trip to Israel, Germany, the Czech Republic, and Austria, I took a summer course at the University of Akron to get ahead, World Literatures. How fitting. We read mostly short stories by authors from all over the world, all of non-European or American heritage. Looking back, the story that stands out the most to me is Yukio Mishima's The Sound of Waves. It's a quick read, and not too difficult, but is a truly beautiful novella.

     Other than that, I have been mowing lawns and clearing underbrush to make a little money for my travels this Fall. I just finished Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey about a week ago. That was some fun reading. I agree with whoever wrote the introduction: Austen seems to start the novel as strictly a satire on Gothic fiction, but then falls in love with her story and finishes it as a half-satire, half-regular novel. By regular I mean the specific style of Austen's work I have read thus far. I started Mansfield Park by Austen about a week ago, and although I had originally hoped to finish it before leaving for England, it looks like I will have to finish it there.
                                                          Me deciding to go England, well thats a story in and of itself.
    
     I had been planning all summer to study this semester in England through BCA. I had my plane ticket, my classes mostly picked out, and many other necessary details all taken care of. However, the Friday before Malone's classes started (two weeks ago exactly), I started to think about all that I would miss this semester if I went to England. By Sunday I decided to stay home. Now I see that I had a bad case of Cold Feet, but then I thought I wasn't ready, I would miss Chorale, Sightlines, Theater, Alpha Rho Iota, family, friendships, Fall in Ohio (which I'm convinced is more wonderful than any other time of year in any other place in the world), and so on. I went to classes the first four days of school, Monday through Thursday. I was miserable the whole week. I didn't unpack what I already had packed because I didn't want to let go of the prospect of studying at the University of Gloucestershire in England. All I did was hang my Casablanca movie poster back on the wall above my bed in my room.
On that Thursday, I thought of my situation. Three former professors of mine told me that I should rethink my decision. My family told me they would support me either way. With the balance of the whole semester and possibly the potential energy of the events of my life before me, I hung on to one thing:
                                                          -That I would live in regret the rest of my life if i didn't go.

     Fortunately, that settled it. I reached my conclusion, and stuck with it. I dropped all of my classes, and told everyone that I was going to England, contrary to what I told them three or four days prior. Now, I have less than a week in the country, and have so much left to do before I leave. It feels strange that on only this coming Wednesday will I leave Canton and spend the next three months living and studying in England. I'm excited to see what this semester will hold; if I had stood by my decision to stay home this semester, I would have known perfectly well what I was gaining by staying home...

                                                        ...but I would have had no idea what I was missing abroad.

Home!

Just got home a bit ago. About to take a much-needed shower and go to bed. Its the middle of the night Europe-time, so I definitely feel the need to pass out. I've been waiting so long to come home and its just so great to be back in Ohio. More to come.

Last day in Israel

Today is a big day for me. Tonight I am taking a train from Akko to Ben Gurion airport, and in the morning I will fly to Frankfurt to meet up with the Chorale. So today is my last real day in Israel. I don't know if I will ever be back, but I sure hope so. I've really come to love this country. This has really been a good experience. It all just seems a bit surreal- I feel as though it will take me years to understand what I have learned and how my life has changed while in Israel. I've also been thinking about going into the Peace Corps next year after Malone. I can't really say whether or not this is really going to happen- the idea is relatively new in my mind and I still have much to think about, as far as traveling, the future, and school is concerned. I wouldn't mind taking a few years off from school before grad school. I don't know.
Currently listening to Blackout by Muse on Youtube. Pretty bummed they are playing in Columbus this fall, when I will be in England, so I will miss them. But please, please, please, if you live in Ohio, go see them for me. I'm terribly sad I will miss them.
Israel, yes. I highly encourage anyone that has the chance to go. Really, I think traveling anywhere outside the States is beneficial. It really affords an opportunity to look on American culture and lifestyle that doesn't exist in America itself. Plus, experiencing other people's ways of life is so valuable, it is really something you couldn't imagine until you see it. I have seen a lot in my month here, though I am sure it would take years to fully see everything in this little country.
Alright, I'm off to Germany.

Unintended

Check out this link- music video to Muse's song "Unintended" probably my new favorite song. Not even kidding. Absolutely gorgeous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9LOFXwPwC4&feature=channel
Things are going well in Kibbutz Tuval. I'm attempting to upload pictures from my camera on to Facebook. Already loaded them onto several flashdrives so that I can clear up some space on my camera for Europe. Getting really excited to live in England next semester. I'm hoping I have a Gandalf beard by then- it is coming along nicely. I'll post a beard picture soon!

Acco and Football.

Had an excellent day. Wrote the beginnings of a short story in the morning, went to Acco with Dave after that. Toured the crusader fort there, walked on the ramparts, and at at the most famousest of hummus restaurant in Acco. Menu: hummus with beans or hummus with chickpeas. Excellent foodage. Really enjoyed the Knights Templar tunnels and fortress. Unfortunately most of the Knights Hospitaller's fortress is in the Med.
Had dinner with Beth and some friends (excellent foodage yet again) and finished the day with about an hour and a half of football, or what we Americans call soccer. About ten guys from the kibbutz played with us- including two brothers I had had dinner with before the game. It turns out I'm not a terrible goalkeeper, if I do say so myself =)
However, my leg is killing me so I may take it easy tomorrow. I think I pulled a thigh muscle hiking two weeks ago. It was really a lot of fun though. Its a shame more people don't play soccer in America. When I go to England in the fall I'll have to make sure I get good enough to play with the peeps from the area.
World Cup stuff starting on the TV. Excited to be here and in Europe during it. I'm sure more people will be excited about it here and in Europe than in the States. Its funny to see the different country's flags all around- each village has their favorite team. Seeing some German and mostly Brazilian flags.
I really need to take a shower. I played hard. And I'm bushed. Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow. I really don't want to leave Israel. I feel like I'm just starting to really feel at home here. It has been about three and a half weeks, by far the longest I've ever been outside of Canton. By the way, Acco is Canton's sister city. So it was pretty neat visiting there- I'm sure not many Canton natives make it out there. It's quite the proverbial hike. I am excited for Europe though. Probably more excited for the 4th of July celebrations at Blossom, where the Cleveland Symphony plays the 1812 Overture and the cannons go berzerk at the end, and there are a thousand American flags in every direction. I'm so excited for the cannons.