If you haven't caught the number thing, this is my 87th day in England. A week from now, I'll be on a plane across the Atlantic, if everything works out. I did a lot of packing yesterday, about an hour and a half's worth. I figure the more packing I get done this weekend, the more I can concentrate on finishing up papers this coming week, so I don't have to do them in Ohio, as they aren't due until January.
Its very strange to be packing. But as I remember, it took me well over a week to pack for the way over, so I may as well take my time for packing for coming home.
So I haven't done much else, other than write papers and read. Read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse last week, and I'm about halfway through A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I'm really interested to see where Lewis takes his argument, because in this book there is not the structures rationalist thought, but a broken man yelling at God, entertaining views of God as the Comic Sadist, questioning not his belief in God, but his view of God as a loving and essential good being. In both of these fantastic works, or at least in the former and what I've read in the latter, they struggle with the nature of the divine being, but are forced to recognize that there is no way to know. However, just because there is no way to know why God lets certain terrible things happen to humanity, and because God can never be understood, that does not mean that (or from what I personally believe and am drawing from the mentioned books) the only way to God is a leap of faith: I think too many Christians are too emphatic on faith, faith, faith- I know faith is important, but I don't think God would have given us these brains if we couldn't use them and explore the nature of being and of God. I think a leap of faith is part of it, but try to imagine this image: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when he has to take his leap of faith to find the Holy Grail, over a bottomless chasm. Then, when he does, a bridge appears. Now imagine that instead of taking that step, Dr. Jones had put a little more thought and effort into his decision- he had read through the Bible, talked with people much more wise than he, read the works of holy people- he would have been able to build stones across to form part of his bridge. Keep the physics out of it. He builds a bridge across. Each stone is a different thing he has learned about God, such as trusting God, believing in God, the nature of prayer, faith, salvation, unchanging divine beneficence, until he gets to the keystone, the one that holds it all together. That could be his leap of faith.
Anyways, I'm excited to go home. I miss it. Readjusting should be interesting. But at least I won't have jokers pounding their rap music at 2am like last night. I hope.
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It's my opinion that exploring faith is one of the most important steps growing in faith. I read somewhere to the effect that the unexplored, unquestioned faith is not worth it.. . oh, wait, that was your work!!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the ending of "A Grief Observed." Where he talks about God answering the door to one who knocks, but not one who is pounding on the door and throwing their arms up in childish rage. (I wish I could find the exact quote." But here's one that you already know but I'm posting it anyway because it's my favorite: "Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand."